At The Table With: Becky Malinsky
Ft. fine china and a lively guest list
At The Table With is a monthly interview series that explores the ideas of creativity and personal taste through the eyes of my friends (or people I would like to be friends with). This month’s guest is stylist and writer of everyone’s favorite fashion newsletter,
!
I don’t think there’s a writer on Substack whose posts I’ve saved more than Becky Malinsky’s. Asking if I could interview her for À La Carte felt a little like shyly walking up to the cool senior girls’ table in the high school cafeteria to see if she’d sign my yearbook. But just as she seems on the internet, Becky is totally nice and gracious and smart, and if we lived on the same coast I’d probably be bugging her to get coffee with me every chance I could get.
One of the things I love about Becky’s Substack,
, is that ironically it’s less about buying things and more about styling them. That’s not to say that I don’t inevitably have several open tabs waiting for me after I read each of her newsletters, but I find myself taking screen shots of Becky’s outfits, which are casually taken in her home or on the street, more than I do the items themselves. Becky’s ability to assemble a look that is equal parts polished and casual and preppy and easy and expressive and refined is a gift, and reading her newsletter inspires me to shop my own closet and to challenge myself to find my own version if it all. Last month she wrote a newsletter about stretch pants that, at the risk of sounding dramatic, changed my life.
I asked Becky a few questions…
Ali LaBelle: Tell me a little about yourself!
Becky Malinsky: I live in New York City where I work as a stylist and writer. I spent about 18 years at big media houses (Lucky, Glamour, The Wall Street Journal) as a fashion editor and launched my Substack two years ago when I left my corporate job, to help people dress for their corporate jobs. I found there to be a disconnect between clothing market and what people were looking for in their work uniforms, making it impossible for busy women (and men) to shop. And there was so much fatigue around shopping online with endless options. That's how 5 Things and my styling business were born.
AL: Something I really love about your newsletter is that it feels really intimate, like we’re sitting in your dressing room as you try things on for us (in a non-creepy way). What have you learned about your readers in the process of writing 5 Things? What questions or requests come up the most?
BM: I knew going in that you can't please everyone, so I make sure that the newsletter always stays true to my ideas and what I think is worth investing in or looking into. I always want the reader to feel respected. I know she is smart. I know she could be spending her time anywhere. But when you work in a vacuum (or your bedroom!) those can be more abstract concepts. So it's been really nice for that thesis to be proven right. I love the positivity of the community. Even when someone is pointing out a typo, it's with respect. I think I've learned how much of a void there is on the internet for that kind of place. People have all sorts of questions. I find each theme brings questions about something else. A rain jacket story can get everyone talking about rain hats in the comments! Or a mention of the Agnes B. cardigan in passing has readers asking for a whole week on styling tips around the item. It's really fun to see what readers grab onto.
AL: I’ve personally learned a lot from reading your newsletter myself, especially when it comes to styling. We have a lot of the same pieces, actually, but your perspective when it comes to wearing them feels very uniquely *you*. Do you have any tips to share for finding one’s personal style?
BM: I think there is a lot of misconception around the idea of effortlessness in fashion. Finding your personal style actually takes a lot of thought, work and experimentation: trying things on, thinking about how you are feeling during those first steps you take out of the door in the morning. I think part of your sense of style—knowing what you feel good in—is innate, but the other part is learning to listen to that feeling and having the courage to experiment. I know what I feel comfortable in, but I'm always finding new inspiration, new shapes that look fun to try, new colors, etc. It's all a process. Lean in! And know that getting to effortless is a lot of effort, but worth it in the end. There's nothing better than feeling so confident in your outfit that the thought of your clothes falls away. Does that make sense?
AL: If you were talking to your younger self, what advice would you give her?
BM: To always bet on yourself!!!
AL: What inspires you the most in your creative process? Where do you look for inspiration?
BM: I am ALWAYS looking EVERYWHERE. I'm watching everyone on the street, on the subway, at dinner. I'm listening to my clients—are they all asking me the same question!? If so, that's a topic! I'm on Instagram saving outfits I love. I'm in books dissecting old Prada collections, constantly screen-grabbing, photocopying, and taking chaotic notes on my phone.
AL: Let’s do a little visualization exercise! Imagine your dream dinner party. You can invite anyone (living or not, famous or not), serve anything, and host it anywhere. Where’s the party?
BM: Dinner at home, of course!
AL: What’s on the table? How are you decorating?
BM: The best dinner parties make people feel relaxed and comfortable. It should be clean and warm and not fussy but extremely nice. Always treat your guests to your best china. YOLO. There will be the most beautiful china, maybe something with gold leaf like the new crested porcelain from Tiffany, (so pretty!) but on a simple linen tablecloth with simple, low, super lightweight venetian glasses, and small tumblers for wine, like how they serve table wine in Italy. I LOVE that. There is this new brand called Levant, have you heard of it? They are basically creating the perfect dinner party set: dream linens, hand painted plates, beautiful but not fussy glassware. To die for. I really love dishes. I'd have so many sets if I didn't live in an apartment. I literally wrote about it for WSJ once. I probably care more about the dishes than the guest list.
AL: Speaking of, who’s invited?
BM: Truthfully, I'd love to just get my family and friends—who I can never figure out a time to see in one room—at one table at the same time. But in the spirit of imagination:
Some of the great historical female authors: George Elliot, Charlotte Bronte, Emily Dickenson, Toni Morrison. I would love to hear them chat amongst themselves. And then for current day maybe we add in Barbara Kingsolver and Min Jin Lee who wrote Pachinko, one of my favorite books of all time.
Miuccia Prada, naturally, and let's add in Phoebe and Rei too.
Amor Towles, what a storyteller. He'd be sure to get everyone riled up.
Barack and Michelle Obama, and on that note, Jacinda Ardern [former Prime Minister of New Zealand]. The cause most important to me as a parent and just general peaceful human is gun control and I'm so impressed by the swiftness of her action after ONE incident in New Zealand. Tell me MORE.
And if we are having Jacinda Ardern we need Shannon Watts [founder of Moms Demand Action]! Shannon can sit next to my mom. I feel like they are both the ultimate do'ers and would be great friends.
Then let's squeeze in Ezra Klein, always asking the best questions, and Kara Swisher. Two podcasting greats are sure to keep things interesting.
We'll need a comedian (but not more than one because you wouldn't want competing jokes) and I'm currently obsessed with Alex Edelman. Let's put him next to Risa Heller, a friend of mine who is one of the best people to sit and talk to. She is a crisis manager, but calling her that sells it short. You don't know her, but trust me, you know her work. A mix of this many personalities NEEDS her.
David Linde and James Schamus who started Focus Features. They can sit next to my sister. I feel like Focus Features was an essential part of my (and my sister Amy's) teenage years. And speaking of, my sister Amy can bring her best friend Hannah Fidell, who is an amazing director, because I think they'd all just really get along. A great dinner party is all about the mix, right!?
Jane Goodall should come and sit next to my dad. She is one of our heroes. On the other side of my dad lets have Atul Gawande who wrote Being Mortal. I can't wait to hear where conversation takes us.
I could keep going, but let's end with Jackson Pollock's wife Lee Krasner who I am just learning about, but basically made him into the star he was, while her AMAZING painting lived in his shadow. I'm fascinated by this… and how many women there are with this same story. She should sit next to Charlotte Perriand at the head, though I hope she doesn't hate my chairs.
AL: What’s on the menu?
BM: Who cares! Something family style, easy to eat. Maybe roast chicken and potatoes and a fantastic fresh salad with a light dressing so it's not soggy. What is worse than a questionable salad at a dinner party? But to me, dinner parties are more for the company than the food.
AL: What music is playing?
BM: John Denver radio on Spotify. Sure hit.
AL: Quick fire round. What’s your favorite scent or smell?
BM: I almost never wear scents. My mom never allowed it so I never got into the habit. But I do have one fragrance that I like so I just have it sitting there and I open it and smell it every once in a while. It's almost never been spritzed! It's Coeur Battant by Louis Vuitton, very random. But a smell I love is The Laundress's stain bar. I think it's made from Borax or something? I don’t know what it is, but the smell is just so perfect. It also gets out sweat stains so it's a win-win. [Editor’s note: Unfortunately I don’t think The Laundress makes the stain bar anymore, but here’s their stain solution, which is sadly fragrance-free.)
AL: Favorite artist?
BM: Helen Frankenthaler.
AL: Last thing you read?
BM: Currently reading Help Wanted by Adelle Waldman, The Overstory by Richard Powers and The Scaffold Effect by Dr. Harold Koplewicz. (Always a parenting book in the mix, eye roll.) I'm one of those psychos who has book ADD and is always reading multiple at a time.
AL: Comfort food?
BM: Parmesan Goldfish.
AL: Thing you bought recently?
BM: Pleated Dockers khakis, which I plan to wear rolled all summer.
Becky, thank you so much for being here! You can subscribe to Becky’s newsletter here.
I’ll see you all back here next week for the May Specials! Have a great weekend.
x
Ali
In case you missed it:
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Love! Also I third the comments about the great guest list, and I especially appreciated the specificity of who's sitting next to whom.
I love the inspiration of looking everywhere for fashion questions and choices. NYC is great for that!