At The Table With is a sort-of-monthly interview series that explores the ideas of creativity and personal taste through the eyes of my friends (or people I would like to be friends with.) This month I’ve mixed it up and have assembled an entire party planning committee (Heather Taylor! Dan Pelosi!
!) to tackle all things holiday hosting. And if you missed my Substack Live on the topic with my good friend and favorite cook this week, feel free to catch up! We got into it all: seating charts, cooking prep, party favors, and more.I’ve done my fair share of party throwing this year. From Pasta Girlfriend dinners and the À La Carte holiday party to girls nights and my bimonthly cookbook club, I’ve got the art of curating menus, setting tables, and making playlists down to a science. But it’s taken practice. Throwing a party, whether it was big or small, used to send me into a total stress spiral.
I’ve always been a homebody, but the pandemic cemented my attachment to my home in a new way. With lockdown in the rearview mirror, I was, in theory, excited to get out to restaurants and bars and events again, but I found myself opting to stay in more than ever. For better or for worse I burrowed into my sofa, digging my slipper-wearing heels in and turning down invitations to do just about anything in favor of a bowl of spaghetti in front of the TV. Why would I ever leave?
My constant struggle to be social is something I’ll write about another time, but it’s what has led me to inviting people into my home more and more often. What used to keep me from having people over—a lack of seating, not being “done” with my house, a small kitchen, mismatched plates—no longer seemed like good enough reasons to spend all my time at home alone. And I’ve always really enjoyed homemaking, not in a 1950s housewife way but in a way that makes daily life more enjoyable, both for me and for the people I love. So I tried my hand at hosting.
I started small: a couple of friends over for Sunday brunch, a group of four for wine and snacks, my sister for dinner. One time, a few friends came by with Taco Bell and we drank homemade, Baja Blast-inspired cocktails. Soon I took it on the road: I had a birthday party at one of my favorite restaurants, hosted a holiday dinner party at Bucatini, and threw a Pasta Girlfriend event in collaboration with my friend Jordan of Seen Library. Bit by bit I got more comfortable with the concept of facilitating an experience for someone, leaning into the parts of the process I love (decorating, designing the invite, setting the mood) and practicing the things that don’t come naturally (like cooking for a crowd—I started my cookbook club for this reason.)
Now, as long as I don’t have to give an elaborate toast in front of everyone, I’m pretty comfortable hosting parties of all shapes and sizes. I love when people come to me, and I find immense joy in making my home (or wherever we may be) a place where people would be willing to leave their homes for. I threw two 100+ person parties this year, one in LA and one in NY, and felt satisfyingly energized by them both. It’s fun to see myself get better at something, and I’m glad I got over the anxieties of hosting so I can spend the rest of my life throwing fabulous dinner parties with wild abandon.
In asking people for their own party tricks, I was reminded that there’s no “right” way to throw a party. I think we’ve grown accustomed to thinking that there’s a long list of widely known faux pas and that one wrong step will land you a spot in HGTV jail, but it’s just not true. Maybe having a set of 12 matching place settings and serving individually plated cornish hens is your vibe, or maybe it’s more of an “everybody bring something,” “we’re sitting on the floor” scenario. As long as you’ve accomplished whatever feeling you’re after—festive, casual, elegant, communal, relaxing, whatever—you’ve done your job well.
Below, I’ve asked some expert hosts for their holiday party hot takes.
Heather Taylor (founder, Heather Taylor Home): “Caviar, blinis, and crème fraîche served with glasses of champagne. It sets such a festive tone!”
Kate Ludwig (
): “A dozen oysters! So chic, but also very easy in a pinch. Just prep a mignonette at home and then grab the oysters fresh on the way. Fish markets will often give you a bag of flake ice that you can use for plating. Shucking doubles as a party trick too.”Aishwarya Iyer (founder, Brightland): “A festive grazing board, like this one.”
Rachel Karten (
): “I love an easy dish that feels impressive. This beef tenderloin with garlic and rosemary from Bon Appétit is exactly that. Serve it with a clear-your-sinuses horseradish sauce.”Hillary Justin (founder, Bliss & Mischief): “I’m known for my cheese plates, partly because all my friends are excellent cooks, and I’m, well, still learning. But I’ve gotten really good at making them beautiful. My formula is to start with a range of great cheese. Don’t stress about this part—it’s cheese. It will be good. Then anchor the center and corners with big, torn seasonal fruit like pomegranates or oranges with the leaves still on. Lastly, fill in the gaps with an abundance of nuts, dried and fresh fruits, crackers, and honeycomb. The goal is overflowing and decadent with beautiful colors.”
Chloe Walsh (
): “Latkes with crème fraîche and caviar! They ALWAYS hit! And if looking for a less expensive version, you can make them with roe; it is just as delicious. Want to make it vegetarian? Top with roasted beets or squash!”
Victoria Smith (@sfgirlbybay): “Lately, after my trip to Italy, my drink of choice is a Negroni Sbagliato. A classic Negroni contains equal parts gin, vermouth, and Campari, while a Sbagliato swaps prosecco for gin. Supposedly, a bartender grabbed sparkling wine instead of gin while making a Negroni, and the drink stuck.”
Hillary Justin: “Give me anything seasonal: spiked eggnog, mulled wine, or an old fashioned.”
Rachel Karten: “Big batch martinis! I usually wing it, but this recipe from Alison Roman is a good place to start.”
Sue Chan (founder, Care of Chan): “For the holiday season it's champagne only. Period.”
Kate Ludwig: “A Hot Toddy, a cocktail I only drink during the holidays. Plus, you don’t need any fancy tools or liquors to make a good one.”
Heather Taylor: “A Gin and tonic with lots of lime. For holidays I like to make special ice cubes with cranberries and garnish with a twig of rosemary.”
Kate Ludwig: “Anything the host can enjoy the next morning when they’re likely still cleaning and coming down from the night before. Muffins, banana bread, or a great bag of coffee beans. (Bonus points if it’s something homemade!)”
Sue Chan: “You can never go wrong with an edible gift, especially a fancy edible gift that the host might not buy for themselves, like white truffles (which are in season in December.)“
Chloe Walsh: “Two bottles of wine, never one! And always flowers!”
Carly Kuhn (@carlykuhn): “If I have the time, I love creating a small drawing for the hosts—it could be inspired by their kids, their pets, or something as random as their love of chairs!”
Dan Pelosi (@grossypelosi): “My go-to gift is my favorite cookbook. Everyone loves a cookbook.”
Cat Chen (
): “Good lighting is a must. And make sure everyone’s glass is always full!”Dan Pelosi: “Lay out all your table linens, flatware, serving vessels before you start cooking. Know where everything is landing, know that it's washed. It's like laying out your outfit the night before. You go to bed feeling confident and relaxed.“
Carly Kuhn: “Make guests feel comfortable. While you want the space to look and feel beautiful, you don't want people to be worried about messing up the room, so don't be afraid to have some imperfections throughout your home. Make sure to have enough food, drinks, and seating. This may all seem rather obvious, but I have been to far too many dinner parties where you are awkwardly standing in a corner, hungry, thirsty, and unsure of what to do with your hands! Sometimes it's the simple things.“
Hillary Justin: “Do NOT delay getting yourself completely dressed and done up before you start any other prep. I’d rather be rushing around the kitchen than stuck in the bathroom stress-curling my hair.”
Kate Ludwig: “Don’t make anything you haven’t made before, and don’t be afraid to ask for help ahead of time!”
Heather Taylor: “Set up a drink station (or two!) so guests can easily make themselves another cocktail or pour themselves a glass of wine.”
Are you hosting this holiday? What’s your plan? I’d love to know.
x
Ali
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